Prince RIP
8 years ago
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Gay Hate Crime Faces & Stories
Gay Hate Crime Faces & Stories
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mw9zJq0QGl0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mw9zJq0QGl0
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Communication is the key.
Communication is the key.
This is a true story which has touched many readers.
As it is quite a long story, reserve it (if you haven't got the time) and read it only when you are in a more relaxed mood.
In either case, do make it a point to savour everyline until the end.
This is for all the single, married, divorced, widowed individuals, who take life for granted.
Please, read this story until the end. It is such an eye opener.
You never Know........ .!
Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us.
Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree.
You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.
I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery.
Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round.
As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother." Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to test on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets.
Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy.
I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.
Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her.
For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment:
"I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for?
You also can't eat flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better."
Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people' s habit; slowly you will get use to it."
Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs.
I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure.
Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it.
Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it."
There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.
Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast.
In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife?
At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice.
She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest.
As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and am exhausted from along day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes.
From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional
work for me.
For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again.
One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room.
Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night.
I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me....
I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once?
We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?"
After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house.
During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please.
In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting.
At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife.
To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work.
That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me:
"LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?"
He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me.
After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?"
I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.
The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat.
I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not.
I threw down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out..
Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes..
I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really did not mean it.
We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house.
Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs.
For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call.
I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do?
For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at then low point in my life..
Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terri ble; you should go and see a doctor."
The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant.
Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news.
Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day?
At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there.
It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him.
He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart.
I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab.
At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circ les of joy.
What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down.
Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight?
Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes.
I cried and wet the corner of the blanket.
That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up.
I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face.
He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house.
Maybe he really intends to leave me for good.
What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters.
I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again.
The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby.
I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird
look and said:
"Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital."
I stood there in shock.
I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away.
Hubby did not look at me, his face was expression les s.
I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes.
My god, how could this happen?
Throughout the funeral, hubby did not say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me.
I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people.
That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside.
As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her...
I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if....
In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.
Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him.
And me, I am buried under the guilt and self-pity and could hardly breathe.
I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in.
I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all.
Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later.
The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other.
I am like the dead knot in his heart.
One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant.
After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes.
I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything.
The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her.
He stared back at me,challenging me.
I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death.
I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me.
That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each other.
He did not come home anymore after that.
Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff.
I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished.
I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination.
My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not..
I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death.
One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room.
The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke.
On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper.
I know what it is all about without even looking at it.
In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself.
I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign."
He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine.
As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry...." my eyes hurt terri bly, but I refused to let tears come out from there.
After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me.
Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, are you pregnant?"
Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops.
I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now."
He did not go.
In the dark, we sat, facing each other.
Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket.
In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them.
I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me.
I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't.
In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever.
We have drawn such deep scars in each other's heart.
For me, it's unintentional; for him, totally intentional.
I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated.
Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him.
From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart.
Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room.
He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room.
At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet.
This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh.
He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because there was love, but now, what is there between us?
Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing but I continuously ignored him.
Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read.
Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full.
I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions.
He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none of that matters to me anymore.
It was sometime towards the end of Spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment.
He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital.
Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite.
Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind:
In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did?
He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in; his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction pain.
Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling.
I reached out and touched his hand.. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor.
I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his...
I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment.
Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long.
I asked the doctor when he first discovered he had cancer. Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying:
"Prepare for his funeral."
I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me.
Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and
I had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son:
"Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now...
I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be..
But daddy now no longer has that chance.
Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion.. ..
Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through life journey.
To be honest, daddy is very happy.
Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most...
" From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.
Hubby has also written a letter for me:
"My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby....
My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me...
These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging... "
Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma.
I brought our son over and place him beside him.
I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..."
He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile.
Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face.....
A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in this world is gone forever...
"Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family.
Our original intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terri bly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, every thing became too late."...... ..
This is a true story.
This is a true story which has touched many readers.
As it is quite a long story, reserve it (if you haven't got the time) and read it only when you are in a more relaxed mood.
In either case, do make it a point to savour everyline until the end.
This is for all the single, married, divorced, widowed individuals, who take life for granted.
Please, read this story until the end. It is such an eye opener.
You never Know........ .!
Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us.
Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree.
You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.
I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery.
Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round.
As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother." Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to test on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets.
Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy.
I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.
Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her.
For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment:
"I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for?
You also can't eat flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better."
Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people' s habit; slowly you will get use to it."
Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs.
I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure.
Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it.
Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it."
There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.
Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast.
In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife?
At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice.
She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest.
As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and am exhausted from along day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes.
From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional
work for me.
For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again.
One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room.
Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night.
I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me....
I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once?
We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?"
After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house.
During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please.
In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting.
At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife.
To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work.
That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me:
"LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?"
He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me.
After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?"
I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.
The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat.
I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not.
I threw down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out..
Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes..
I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really did not mean it.
We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house.
Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs.
For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call.
I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do?
For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at then low point in my life..
Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terri ble; you should go and see a doctor."
The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant.
Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news.
Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day?
At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there.
It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him.
He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart.
I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab.
At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circ les of joy.
What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down.
Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight?
Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes.
I cried and wet the corner of the blanket.
That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up.
I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face.
He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house.
Maybe he really intends to leave me for good.
What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters.
I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again.
The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby.
I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird
look and said:
"Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital."
I stood there in shock.
I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away.
Hubby did not look at me, his face was expression les s.
I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes.
My god, how could this happen?
Throughout the funeral, hubby did not say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me.
I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people.
That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside.
As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her...
I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if....
In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.
Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him.
And me, I am buried under the guilt and self-pity and could hardly breathe.
I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in.
I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all.
Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later.
The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other.
I am like the dead knot in his heart.
One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant.
After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes.
I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything.
The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her.
He stared back at me,challenging me.
I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death.
I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me.
That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each other.
He did not come home anymore after that.
Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff.
I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished.
I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination.
My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not..
I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death.
One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room.
The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke.
On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper.
I know what it is all about without even looking at it.
In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself.
I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign."
He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine.
As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry...." my eyes hurt terri bly, but I refused to let tears come out from there.
After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me.
Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, are you pregnant?"
Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops.
I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now."
He did not go.
In the dark, we sat, facing each other.
Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket.
In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them.
I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me.
I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't.
In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever.
We have drawn such deep scars in each other's heart.
For me, it's unintentional; for him, totally intentional.
I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated.
Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him.
From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart.
Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room.
He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room.
At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet.
This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh.
He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because there was love, but now, what is there between us?
Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing but I continuously ignored him.
Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read.
Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full.
I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions.
He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none of that matters to me anymore.
It was sometime towards the end of Spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment.
He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital.
Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite.
Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind:
In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did?
He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in; his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction pain.
Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling.
I reached out and touched his hand.. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor.
I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his...
I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment.
Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long.
I asked the doctor when he first discovered he had cancer. Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying:
"Prepare for his funeral."
I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me.
Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and
I had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son:
"Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now...
I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be..
But daddy now no longer has that chance.
Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion.. ..
Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through life journey.
To be honest, daddy is very happy.
Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most...
" From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.
Hubby has also written a letter for me:
"My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby....
My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me...
These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging... "
Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma.
I brought our son over and place him beside him.
I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..."
He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile.
Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face.....
A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in this world is gone forever...
"Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family.
Our original intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terri bly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, every thing became too late."...... ..
This is a true story.
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
What Is Kundalini Energy?
What Is Kundalini Energy?
What is Kundalini Energy?
In order to understand something of the nature of Kundalini enrgy, it is necessary first to understand something of the paradigm or world-view which supports this rather unusual and profound phenomenon. The following ideas have been taken from both ancient Hindu philosophy and the writings of Gopi Krishna.
Western scientific thought, despite the discoveries of physics in the last 100 years, is rooted in the idea that what we perceive with our senses is 'real' and external to us and that our consciousness or subjective experience is simply an epi-phenomenon, or consequence, of the chemical activity of the brain.
The esoteric systems of India, on the other hand, view consciousness as the ultimate or paramount reality. This supreme reality, or Brahman as it is called, is said to be beyond the capacity of our limited human mind to perceive directly, as it is infinite, formless, timeless, and has no physical attributes by which we can comprehend it directly. Our individual awareness is said to be like a drop in this infinite ocean and the physical world that we perceive as external to us is held to be a projection of this individual drop of awareness.
This constitutes a complete reversal of the western, scientific, world-view. The reason that we do not experience reality in this way, at our current level of perception, is due to the limitations placed on our consciousness by the brain and nervous system of our body, through which it functions. The goal of evolution, or at least the next step to which we are evolving, would be the enhancement of our perceptive faculties to the point where this new world-picture is a day-to-day reality.
Since our world view, physical existence, and mental process are rooted in dualism, i.e. good/bad; up/down; male/female; hot/cold, positive/negative, etc., our minds are more comfortable conceptualizing this ultimate reality in dualistic terms. They have been defined by Hindu philosophical thought as Supreme Consciousness and an Infinite Creative Energy, or Shiva and Shakti.
From this Shakti, at one level, the physical universe, consisting of matter and the four known forces, is manifested. At another level, it manifests as prana, or the animating principle which gives life to all sentient things. This animating principle, referred to at this level as Kundalini, is most evident in the process of conception, development of the embryo, and birth where, after this process is complete and a new individual is born, it is said to go into a quiescent or dormant state at the base of the spine where it maintains the basic life processes of the body.
As the microcosm is a reflection of the macrocosm, so the universal principles of Shiva and Shakti are present in the human body. Shiva is held to be the conscious principle centered in the head, while Shakti (referred to as Kundalini energy) lies in a quiescent state at the base of the spine.
As a consequence of our lifestyle, spiritual practices, heredity, and other factors, Kundalini can become reactivated and the same processes which built our body in the womb now begin to function again, but in a different manner. They now work to refashion the brain, organs, and nervous system so that a more elevated form of consciousness is possible. The ultimate, although rarely attained, goal of Kundalini is to permanently transform our being so that a new perceptive faculty emerges by which we can experience reality directly as consciousness. In most cases, however, the individual eventually becomes more creative, psychically sensitive, aware of who they are, and better adjusted to their environment, with an enhanced faith in the Divine.
The effects of this activity are many and varied and can extend to all aspects of our being--physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. They can range from being barely noticeable to totally overwhelming. They can vary widely in duration and ultimate effect from individual to individual as a great many factors are involved. To someone who is not familiar with what is happening and why, these processes can be quite disturbing and even terrifying. Attempts to obtain guidance and support from medical and health care professionals and religious institutions are often found to be frustrating and even counter-productive, due to the general lack of good information on this subject.
But it must always be kept in mind that the process is a natural one, as much a part of our being as conception and birth, and although it may sometimes be difficult, it is attempting to bring about change of a very positive nature in us to advance the level of our evolution both as individuals and as a species.
Authors Details: Kundalini Energy - Institute for Consciousness Research
What is Kundalini Energy?
In order to understand something of the nature of Kundalini enrgy, it is necessary first to understand something of the paradigm or world-view which supports this rather unusual and profound phenomenon. The following ideas have been taken from both ancient Hindu philosophy and the writings of Gopi Krishna.
Western scientific thought, despite the discoveries of physics in the last 100 years, is rooted in the idea that what we perceive with our senses is 'real' and external to us and that our consciousness or subjective experience is simply an epi-phenomenon, or consequence, of the chemical activity of the brain.
The esoteric systems of India, on the other hand, view consciousness as the ultimate or paramount reality. This supreme reality, or Brahman as it is called, is said to be beyond the capacity of our limited human mind to perceive directly, as it is infinite, formless, timeless, and has no physical attributes by which we can comprehend it directly. Our individual awareness is said to be like a drop in this infinite ocean and the physical world that we perceive as external to us is held to be a projection of this individual drop of awareness.
This constitutes a complete reversal of the western, scientific, world-view. The reason that we do not experience reality in this way, at our current level of perception, is due to the limitations placed on our consciousness by the brain and nervous system of our body, through which it functions. The goal of evolution, or at least the next step to which we are evolving, would be the enhancement of our perceptive faculties to the point where this new world-picture is a day-to-day reality.
Since our world view, physical existence, and mental process are rooted in dualism, i.e. good/bad; up/down; male/female; hot/cold, positive/negative, etc., our minds are more comfortable conceptualizing this ultimate reality in dualistic terms. They have been defined by Hindu philosophical thought as Supreme Consciousness and an Infinite Creative Energy, or Shiva and Shakti.
From this Shakti, at one level, the physical universe, consisting of matter and the four known forces, is manifested. At another level, it manifests as prana, or the animating principle which gives life to all sentient things. This animating principle, referred to at this level as Kundalini, is most evident in the process of conception, development of the embryo, and birth where, after this process is complete and a new individual is born, it is said to go into a quiescent or dormant state at the base of the spine where it maintains the basic life processes of the body.
As the microcosm is a reflection of the macrocosm, so the universal principles of Shiva and Shakti are present in the human body. Shiva is held to be the conscious principle centered in the head, while Shakti (referred to as Kundalini energy) lies in a quiescent state at the base of the spine.
As a consequence of our lifestyle, spiritual practices, heredity, and other factors, Kundalini can become reactivated and the same processes which built our body in the womb now begin to function again, but in a different manner. They now work to refashion the brain, organs, and nervous system so that a more elevated form of consciousness is possible. The ultimate, although rarely attained, goal of Kundalini is to permanently transform our being so that a new perceptive faculty emerges by which we can experience reality directly as consciousness. In most cases, however, the individual eventually becomes more creative, psychically sensitive, aware of who they are, and better adjusted to their environment, with an enhanced faith in the Divine.
The effects of this activity are many and varied and can extend to all aspects of our being--physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. They can range from being barely noticeable to totally overwhelming. They can vary widely in duration and ultimate effect from individual to individual as a great many factors are involved. To someone who is not familiar with what is happening and why, these processes can be quite disturbing and even terrifying. Attempts to obtain guidance and support from medical and health care professionals and religious institutions are often found to be frustrating and even counter-productive, due to the general lack of good information on this subject.
But it must always be kept in mind that the process is a natural one, as much a part of our being as conception and birth, and although it may sometimes be difficult, it is attempting to bring about change of a very positive nature in us to advance the level of our evolution both as individuals and as a species.
Authors Details: Kundalini Energy - Institute for Consciousness Research
26 Principals of Life
Spiritual Guidance - 26 Principals of Life
1.All Are Related: There is a Native American saying, which translates roughly to "All are Related". Everything in the universe is part of The Great Spirit, from a rock, to a plant, to a fish, to a human. The spirit flows between and within us all, and is the building block of everything. Since we are all part of the same whole, we should treat the rest of the whole as if it is part of us, i.e. with compassion and love. We are all part of the Great Spirit, just like all the different leaves on a tree are still part of the tree.
2.The Energy Flow: The universe is composed of energy. This energy flows between everything, us and within us all. When we have internal blocks, the energy fails to flow correctly, causing illness, lethargy and other symptoms. This energy can be directed consciously, we can see it, and feel it. How we feel affects our energy levels; negativity drains energy, positivity creates energy.
3.We Are Beings of Both Spirit and Flesh: We are spirits, but at the same time, we are creatures of the flesh. We inhabit both worlds simultaneously, even though we are often unaware of it. We should not shun the flesh for spirit or vice versa. Both are equally important. We have to walk with one foot in each of these worlds, and pay them both attention. Neglecting either world causes distress in the other.
4.No One Entity is Superior to Another: No one being or creature is any better or greater than another. We are all the same. We are all on different paths and have different levels of understanding, but that does not make any one of us better than another. Humans are not masters of nature, nor the animals and plants. They are our companions, and co-inhabitants of this planet. We are not superior to them, nor do we own them. We should treat them all with respect.
5.Belief Creates: How we perceive the universe is shaped by our beliefs. If we believe we are in a hurry, then everyone else appears to be going slow. Through belief and positive thought, we can create virtually anything. We should believe in our abilities and ourselves, and we will succeed. We can combine the power of belief with that of visualisation to bring anything into reality.
6.Intuition: Inside of us, a voice speaks and guides us. It is our intuition. We can choose to ignore it or to listen to it. Once we are in tune with our intuition and start to listen to it, we will be guided and will find that we can achieve more than we thought possible. We will begin to realise that the Great Spirit works through us - often in mysterious ways, but always to our benefit - in the long term.
7.The Higher Purpose: Everything that happens is for a reason and for the greater good. We have to learn to look at events in our lives from more than just the normal human perspective. We must see them from the perspective of the Great Spirit and to look at what good will come from these events. This is the old maxim of "is the glass half full or half empty". We can look at events badly, half empty, and our reaction will be worse. However, should we look at events better, i.e. half full, then we are more positive, which means our energy is higher, and our reaction will be better.
8.There are No Ordinary Moments: The past only exists in our memory. The future only exists as our expectation. The only time that really exists is NOW. It is a precious moment and we should treat every single moment as special and live it to the full. By being in the present, we have presence. To live in the now the conscious mind should be quiet and you must focus totally on what you are doing, not what you are going to be doing next week, or what you are going to have for lunch.
9.There are No Limits: The only limits we have are those we place upon ourselves, or others place upon us. To this end, we should avoid being put in a pigeonhole and labelled by others. If someone views a dog as being vicious, then it is more likely to be vicious. We should hold no expectations of others, and let them be themselves, just as we should be ourselves.
10.Action not Reaction: If we are tickled, our reaction is to laugh. We should be at a state where we do not react in a situation, but act. Reaction is unconscious, whereas Action is conscious. We should not let past influences affect our actions, e.g. if we were once bitten by a dog, when we next meet a dog, we should not let the past bite affect how we act towards it. There are times to act, as well as times to be still. By living in the present and having control of the conscious mind, we can better direct our action.
11.Positivity Rules: Negative thoughts attract negative events and drain our energy. Positive thoughts attract positive events and increase our energy. To this end, we should look at our thoughts and the events which happen to us in a positive light, realising negative thoughts for what they are and releasing them.
12.Posture, Pose & Breathing: Energy flows through the body, as it flows through all things. If the posture and pose are bad, the energy can not flow cleanly and causes blockages, which manifest as pain or illness. We breathe in energy from the world around us. Therefore, our breaths should be deep and full, coming from the bottom of the belly, and not the chest. This enables us to maximise our energy. Deep breathing helps relax us. When we are stressed, angry or afraid our breathing changes and becomes shallow and faster. By consciously controlling our breathing and keeping it deep and even, we can release the stress, anger or fear, enabling us to act consciously in the situation.
13.Everything in Balance: The universe exists in a state of balance, as should we. We can do anything we wish, but should always do it to moderation, never to excess. Should we do things to excess, then they can become addictive, which drains energy and may become negative. Being balanced allows us to act better in situations. If we are sat on the fence, so to speak, we can jump off either way should we desire to.
14.Intent is Action: You can intend to do anything, and your intent is important. However, unless the intent is followed with action, then the intent is nothing. As an example. I may intend to get fit, but spend all my time sat in front of the TV eating pizza and drinking cola. I have my intention, but my actions do not confirm or create the intention. Therefore, if you intend something, do it, don't just talk about it. Action turns knowledge into wisdom.
15.Freedom of Choice: We all have free will, and can choose to do anything we wish. There is no situation where we do not have choice. It may appear that we do not, but there are always options, if we have the courage and strength to take them. We just have to have the courage of conviction to make the decisions.
16.Change Happens: Change is continuous and is always happening around us. We can not actually perceive change, but can see the end result of it. Change is not a bad thing nor is it to be feared. Through change we can grow and go forwards.
17.Taking Responsibility: Our actions cause a reaction - it is a law of nature. We have to be aware of our actions and take responsibility for them and for the consequences of them. It is no good doing something and then saying you did not mean to do it. Had you not meant to do it, you would not have done it. By taking responsibility for our actions, so we can take back our power and freedom to choose. We have to accept that no one will live for us, and that sometimes our actions will cause others, or ourselves, a measure of discomfort. Remember though, that discomfort is one way of helping us grow and to show us where changes need to be made.
18.One Step at a Time: To get to any goal, break it down into a number of small steps. If you have many small successes, then this will lead to a big success. If you aim for a big success straight off, you may fail. Remember that a journey towards any destination starts with a single step, and then a second and a third, and as many as required until you reach that destination. Remember to reward and praise yourself for your successes, however small they are. By acknowledging them, you increase your power and will to succeed, strengthening your belief in yourself.
19.Judgement: We have no right to judge another for their words, thoughts or deeds. They have the freedom of choice to do as they please and act as they wish, just as we do. We are in no position to judge anyone, as we are imperfect ourselves. It is easily done, for example, you see a big man with tattoo's, a skinhead and wearing leather, and the automatic assumption is that he is trouble. He may be a florist for all we know. This colours our judgement of people and changes how we act towards them. By having no preconceptions of other people, we can interact better with them, and perhaps make a new friend.
20.Integrity: Integrity is all about how we act when no one is looking. We must live to our own standards and should not judge others by them. This is about living in line with our highest vision despite urges to the contrary.
21.Air Your Doubts: By airing your doubts, fears, and worries, by looking at them and seeing them for what they are, so you can conquer them and rid yourself of them forever. By refusing to confront them, so they gain power over you, and become even more deeply rooted. After you realise what they are - release them.
22.Failure: It is very rare for us to fail. We only ever choose to stop trying. That is us exercising our free will. We can stop trying any time we wish, but those that succeed never stop until they get to their goal. Success often does not come easy, and does require work and effort from us. You will find that most 'overnight successes' have been working hard for that success for many years. Failure is not something to be feared or worried about, because we can never fail! Everything we do, no matter whether we view it as a success or failure is a valuable lesson for us to learn. By looking at a perceived failure as a valuable lesson, it no longer feels as bad. The only true failure is not learning the lessons our mistakes teach us.
23.The Ongoing Journey: Our journey of exploration through life never, ever stops. The destination is not the reward or the goal. The journey to the destination is the goal itself.
24.Don't Mind: If we take an objective view of our mind, then we can see that lots of thoughts drift through it, many of which we are unaware of. A sad, angry or fearful thought may drift up from the sub-conscious and change how we feel for no apparent reason. We must take control of the mind through tools such as meditation, and become aware of these thoughts and realise them for what they are. Then, we can let them go and stay relaxed and centred. By consciously focussing on our breathing, and keeping it deep and even, we can help to release these negative thoughts.
25.Emotions: Emotions come and go. They flow through us all the time, often without us even realising. Many of us do not express our emotions because we feel we have to "Be manly" or "Be responsible" or "Be cool". When we feel the negative emotions, we can feel our bodies tense. If we do not express these emotions when we feel them, the tension is stored within our bodies. Having emotions is not to be feared and should be celebrated. When you feel an emotion - express it! If you are happy - smile and laugh, if you are sad cry. Expressing your emotions releases the tension they give, and helps you live more fully in the here and now. Once you have expressed an emotion, it is gone and will not return with the same force for that situation. If we refuse to express them and store the emotions up, then, like damming a fast river, eventually the water level will rise too high if we do not provide it with an outlet.
26.Play: As children, we play exuberantly. We have fun, enjoy ourselves and have lots of energy. Then something happens, we grow up, and we no longer play believing that adults have to be adult and they don't play. Playing is one of our greatest sources of pleasure. It takes many forms, from sport to games to laughing and joking with friends. Playing increases our energy and makes us more positive. It makes those around us more positive and generally lifts the spirits of all involved. There are times to be serious, yes, but there are times to play too, and that is what we must not forget.
Authors Details: Spiritual Guidance - 26 Principals of Life -
Jason Johns
1.All Are Related: There is a Native American saying, which translates roughly to "All are Related". Everything in the universe is part of The Great Spirit, from a rock, to a plant, to a fish, to a human. The spirit flows between and within us all, and is the building block of everything. Since we are all part of the same whole, we should treat the rest of the whole as if it is part of us, i.e. with compassion and love. We are all part of the Great Spirit, just like all the different leaves on a tree are still part of the tree.
2.The Energy Flow: The universe is composed of energy. This energy flows between everything, us and within us all. When we have internal blocks, the energy fails to flow correctly, causing illness, lethargy and other symptoms. This energy can be directed consciously, we can see it, and feel it. How we feel affects our energy levels; negativity drains energy, positivity creates energy.
3.We Are Beings of Both Spirit and Flesh: We are spirits, but at the same time, we are creatures of the flesh. We inhabit both worlds simultaneously, even though we are often unaware of it. We should not shun the flesh for spirit or vice versa. Both are equally important. We have to walk with one foot in each of these worlds, and pay them both attention. Neglecting either world causes distress in the other.
4.No One Entity is Superior to Another: No one being or creature is any better or greater than another. We are all the same. We are all on different paths and have different levels of understanding, but that does not make any one of us better than another. Humans are not masters of nature, nor the animals and plants. They are our companions, and co-inhabitants of this planet. We are not superior to them, nor do we own them. We should treat them all with respect.
5.Belief Creates: How we perceive the universe is shaped by our beliefs. If we believe we are in a hurry, then everyone else appears to be going slow. Through belief and positive thought, we can create virtually anything. We should believe in our abilities and ourselves, and we will succeed. We can combine the power of belief with that of visualisation to bring anything into reality.
6.Intuition: Inside of us, a voice speaks and guides us. It is our intuition. We can choose to ignore it or to listen to it. Once we are in tune with our intuition and start to listen to it, we will be guided and will find that we can achieve more than we thought possible. We will begin to realise that the Great Spirit works through us - often in mysterious ways, but always to our benefit - in the long term.
7.The Higher Purpose: Everything that happens is for a reason and for the greater good. We have to learn to look at events in our lives from more than just the normal human perspective. We must see them from the perspective of the Great Spirit and to look at what good will come from these events. This is the old maxim of "is the glass half full or half empty". We can look at events badly, half empty, and our reaction will be worse. However, should we look at events better, i.e. half full, then we are more positive, which means our energy is higher, and our reaction will be better.
8.There are No Ordinary Moments: The past only exists in our memory. The future only exists as our expectation. The only time that really exists is NOW. It is a precious moment and we should treat every single moment as special and live it to the full. By being in the present, we have presence. To live in the now the conscious mind should be quiet and you must focus totally on what you are doing, not what you are going to be doing next week, or what you are going to have for lunch.
9.There are No Limits: The only limits we have are those we place upon ourselves, or others place upon us. To this end, we should avoid being put in a pigeonhole and labelled by others. If someone views a dog as being vicious, then it is more likely to be vicious. We should hold no expectations of others, and let them be themselves, just as we should be ourselves.
10.Action not Reaction: If we are tickled, our reaction is to laugh. We should be at a state where we do not react in a situation, but act. Reaction is unconscious, whereas Action is conscious. We should not let past influences affect our actions, e.g. if we were once bitten by a dog, when we next meet a dog, we should not let the past bite affect how we act towards it. There are times to act, as well as times to be still. By living in the present and having control of the conscious mind, we can better direct our action.
11.Positivity Rules: Negative thoughts attract negative events and drain our energy. Positive thoughts attract positive events and increase our energy. To this end, we should look at our thoughts and the events which happen to us in a positive light, realising negative thoughts for what they are and releasing them.
12.Posture, Pose & Breathing: Energy flows through the body, as it flows through all things. If the posture and pose are bad, the energy can not flow cleanly and causes blockages, which manifest as pain or illness. We breathe in energy from the world around us. Therefore, our breaths should be deep and full, coming from the bottom of the belly, and not the chest. This enables us to maximise our energy. Deep breathing helps relax us. When we are stressed, angry or afraid our breathing changes and becomes shallow and faster. By consciously controlling our breathing and keeping it deep and even, we can release the stress, anger or fear, enabling us to act consciously in the situation.
13.Everything in Balance: The universe exists in a state of balance, as should we. We can do anything we wish, but should always do it to moderation, never to excess. Should we do things to excess, then they can become addictive, which drains energy and may become negative. Being balanced allows us to act better in situations. If we are sat on the fence, so to speak, we can jump off either way should we desire to.
14.Intent is Action: You can intend to do anything, and your intent is important. However, unless the intent is followed with action, then the intent is nothing. As an example. I may intend to get fit, but spend all my time sat in front of the TV eating pizza and drinking cola. I have my intention, but my actions do not confirm or create the intention. Therefore, if you intend something, do it, don't just talk about it. Action turns knowledge into wisdom.
15.Freedom of Choice: We all have free will, and can choose to do anything we wish. There is no situation where we do not have choice. It may appear that we do not, but there are always options, if we have the courage and strength to take them. We just have to have the courage of conviction to make the decisions.
16.Change Happens: Change is continuous and is always happening around us. We can not actually perceive change, but can see the end result of it. Change is not a bad thing nor is it to be feared. Through change we can grow and go forwards.
17.Taking Responsibility: Our actions cause a reaction - it is a law of nature. We have to be aware of our actions and take responsibility for them and for the consequences of them. It is no good doing something and then saying you did not mean to do it. Had you not meant to do it, you would not have done it. By taking responsibility for our actions, so we can take back our power and freedom to choose. We have to accept that no one will live for us, and that sometimes our actions will cause others, or ourselves, a measure of discomfort. Remember though, that discomfort is one way of helping us grow and to show us where changes need to be made.
18.One Step at a Time: To get to any goal, break it down into a number of small steps. If you have many small successes, then this will lead to a big success. If you aim for a big success straight off, you may fail. Remember that a journey towards any destination starts with a single step, and then a second and a third, and as many as required until you reach that destination. Remember to reward and praise yourself for your successes, however small they are. By acknowledging them, you increase your power and will to succeed, strengthening your belief in yourself.
19.Judgement: We have no right to judge another for their words, thoughts or deeds. They have the freedom of choice to do as they please and act as they wish, just as we do. We are in no position to judge anyone, as we are imperfect ourselves. It is easily done, for example, you see a big man with tattoo's, a skinhead and wearing leather, and the automatic assumption is that he is trouble. He may be a florist for all we know. This colours our judgement of people and changes how we act towards them. By having no preconceptions of other people, we can interact better with them, and perhaps make a new friend.
20.Integrity: Integrity is all about how we act when no one is looking. We must live to our own standards and should not judge others by them. This is about living in line with our highest vision despite urges to the contrary.
21.Air Your Doubts: By airing your doubts, fears, and worries, by looking at them and seeing them for what they are, so you can conquer them and rid yourself of them forever. By refusing to confront them, so they gain power over you, and become even more deeply rooted. After you realise what they are - release them.
22.Failure: It is very rare for us to fail. We only ever choose to stop trying. That is us exercising our free will. We can stop trying any time we wish, but those that succeed never stop until they get to their goal. Success often does not come easy, and does require work and effort from us. You will find that most 'overnight successes' have been working hard for that success for many years. Failure is not something to be feared or worried about, because we can never fail! Everything we do, no matter whether we view it as a success or failure is a valuable lesson for us to learn. By looking at a perceived failure as a valuable lesson, it no longer feels as bad. The only true failure is not learning the lessons our mistakes teach us.
23.The Ongoing Journey: Our journey of exploration through life never, ever stops. The destination is not the reward or the goal. The journey to the destination is the goal itself.
24.Don't Mind: If we take an objective view of our mind, then we can see that lots of thoughts drift through it, many of which we are unaware of. A sad, angry or fearful thought may drift up from the sub-conscious and change how we feel for no apparent reason. We must take control of the mind through tools such as meditation, and become aware of these thoughts and realise them for what they are. Then, we can let them go and stay relaxed and centred. By consciously focussing on our breathing, and keeping it deep and even, we can help to release these negative thoughts.
25.Emotions: Emotions come and go. They flow through us all the time, often without us even realising. Many of us do not express our emotions because we feel we have to "Be manly" or "Be responsible" or "Be cool". When we feel the negative emotions, we can feel our bodies tense. If we do not express these emotions when we feel them, the tension is stored within our bodies. Having emotions is not to be feared and should be celebrated. When you feel an emotion - express it! If you are happy - smile and laugh, if you are sad cry. Expressing your emotions releases the tension they give, and helps you live more fully in the here and now. Once you have expressed an emotion, it is gone and will not return with the same force for that situation. If we refuse to express them and store the emotions up, then, like damming a fast river, eventually the water level will rise too high if we do not provide it with an outlet.
26.Play: As children, we play exuberantly. We have fun, enjoy ourselves and have lots of energy. Then something happens, we grow up, and we no longer play believing that adults have to be adult and they don't play. Playing is one of our greatest sources of pleasure. It takes many forms, from sport to games to laughing and joking with friends. Playing increases our energy and makes us more positive. It makes those around us more positive and generally lifts the spirits of all involved. There are times to be serious, yes, but there are times to play too, and that is what we must not forget.
Authors Details: Spiritual Guidance - 26 Principals of Life -
Jason Johns
Spiritual Freedom
Spiritual Freedom
1: Life does not work through indecision. Indecision promotes blocks, confusion and stress. Make a decision and allow life to find movement through you. Trust yourself.
2: The 3 C's of life are Courage, Capacity and Commitment. It takes Courage and a commitment to make many of life's decisions, and capacity to follow them through. The 3 C's of a successful relationship are Caring, Consideration and Communication. Communication opens the door between us, consideration allows us to pass through it and our ability to care for each other unites us.
3: Truth is not truth out of timing- yet it remains truth. We are the timing to recognize truth.
4: The mind recoils from the unknown, so we seek to make everything known, and, thus sage. Imagination is the key to the unknown- positive, uplifting imagination.
5: For as long as we search for Our God Self, we deny that we are it. Loving your self reveals your truth.
6: Becoming free is not changing yourself into someone you think you should be. Becoming free is falling in love with who you are- right now.
7: Imagine a room of pitch dark and a room of bright light connected by a door. When you open the door what happens? Light floods into the dark room, illuminating it. Live accordingly, think thoughts of light.
8: F.E.A.R- False Evidence Appearing Real
9: Anything of the past that is unresolved is unresolved now. Living NOW resolves the past.
10: Life flows from the inside out, never the reverse. Understand this and you cease to be a victim.
11: Love responds- fear reacts. Love connects- fear separates. Love uplifts- fear deflates. Love creates- fear destroys.
12: There is no such thing as a mistake- only experience. There is no such thing as failure- only people's condemnation. There is no such thing as success- only people's approval. Let life live through you.
13: Do not get caught up in modifying your life, allow life to change YOU. Modification is a superficial exterior veneer, change is an inner shift in consciousness.
14: Pain is a measure of your resistance to change.
15: Decide whether you want to be an onlooker of life or a participant. This is the birthplace of choice.
16: You hear with your ears- but you listen with your mind. You look with your eyes- but you see from the heart.
17: Consciousness is not contained in your body- you are the consciousness that contains the body. Consciousness draws to itself form through which to express
18: Your mind cannot exist in the moment. You cannot think your way into the moment, you can only think your way out of it. This indicates that your mind/intellect cannot set you free. Only your consciousness is aware of NOW. True freedom is a state of consciousness.
19: We each live in our own universe, a universe of our making. It is designed to support our beliefs and our focus. Our thoughts are our focus, so observe your thoughts, focus on your blessings, and trust. This is how you become a participant.
20: Practise seeing all life around you as an aspect of yourself. In this way you shatter the illusion of separation.
21: Your mind does now know the difference between what you do want or what you don't want, it only knows what you focus on. Many people focus on what they don't have, what they are incapable of doing and their sicknesses.
22: If you focus on what you do have, it increases. If you focus on what you don't have, you will have even less. If you focus on your capabilities, they grow, if you focus on your health, it improves.
23: Your mind does not know the difference between a powerfully imagined reality and a physical happening reality. Why? Because there is no difference.
24: You only have a problem if you believe you have a problem.
25: Live these principles and you will be practising reality. Practise reality until you overcome the illusion. It is only an illusion that you are not free, now!
Authors Details: Unknown Author
1: Life does not work through indecision. Indecision promotes blocks, confusion and stress. Make a decision and allow life to find movement through you. Trust yourself.
2: The 3 C's of life are Courage, Capacity and Commitment. It takes Courage and a commitment to make many of life's decisions, and capacity to follow them through. The 3 C's of a successful relationship are Caring, Consideration and Communication. Communication opens the door between us, consideration allows us to pass through it and our ability to care for each other unites us.
3: Truth is not truth out of timing- yet it remains truth. We are the timing to recognize truth.
4: The mind recoils from the unknown, so we seek to make everything known, and, thus sage. Imagination is the key to the unknown- positive, uplifting imagination.
5: For as long as we search for Our God Self, we deny that we are it. Loving your self reveals your truth.
6: Becoming free is not changing yourself into someone you think you should be. Becoming free is falling in love with who you are- right now.
7: Imagine a room of pitch dark and a room of bright light connected by a door. When you open the door what happens? Light floods into the dark room, illuminating it. Live accordingly, think thoughts of light.
8: F.E.A.R- False Evidence Appearing Real
9: Anything of the past that is unresolved is unresolved now. Living NOW resolves the past.
10: Life flows from the inside out, never the reverse. Understand this and you cease to be a victim.
11: Love responds- fear reacts. Love connects- fear separates. Love uplifts- fear deflates. Love creates- fear destroys.
12: There is no such thing as a mistake- only experience. There is no such thing as failure- only people's condemnation. There is no such thing as success- only people's approval. Let life live through you.
13: Do not get caught up in modifying your life, allow life to change YOU. Modification is a superficial exterior veneer, change is an inner shift in consciousness.
14: Pain is a measure of your resistance to change.
15: Decide whether you want to be an onlooker of life or a participant. This is the birthplace of choice.
16: You hear with your ears- but you listen with your mind. You look with your eyes- but you see from the heart.
17: Consciousness is not contained in your body- you are the consciousness that contains the body. Consciousness draws to itself form through which to express
18: Your mind cannot exist in the moment. You cannot think your way into the moment, you can only think your way out of it. This indicates that your mind/intellect cannot set you free. Only your consciousness is aware of NOW. True freedom is a state of consciousness.
19: We each live in our own universe, a universe of our making. It is designed to support our beliefs and our focus. Our thoughts are our focus, so observe your thoughts, focus on your blessings, and trust. This is how you become a participant.
20: Practise seeing all life around you as an aspect of yourself. In this way you shatter the illusion of separation.
21: Your mind does now know the difference between what you do want or what you don't want, it only knows what you focus on. Many people focus on what they don't have, what they are incapable of doing and their sicknesses.
22: If you focus on what you do have, it increases. If you focus on what you don't have, you will have even less. If you focus on your capabilities, they grow, if you focus on your health, it improves.
23: Your mind does not know the difference between a powerfully imagined reality and a physical happening reality. Why? Because there is no difference.
24: You only have a problem if you believe you have a problem.
25: Live these principles and you will be practising reality. Practise reality until you overcome the illusion. It is only an illusion that you are not free, now!
Authors Details: Unknown Author
Dr Phil's 10 Life Laws
Dr Phil's 10 Life Laws
http://www.spiritual.com.au/articles/stories/10laws_drphil.htm
Dr. Phil McGraw's 10 Life Laws
Life Law #1: You either get it, or you don't.
Strategy: Become one of those who gets it.
Life Law #2: You create your own experience.
Strategy: Ackowledge and accept accountability for your life.
Life Law #3: People do what works.
Strategy: Identify the payoffs that drive your behavior and that of others.
Life Law #4: You cannot change what you do not acknowledge.
Strategy: Get real with yourself about life and everybody in it.
Life Law #5: Life rewards Action.
Strategy: Make careful decisions and then pull the trigger.
Life Law #6: There is no reality; only perception.
Strategy: Identify the filters through which you view the world.
Life Law #7: Life is managed; it is not cured.
Strategy: Learn to take charge of your life.
Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us.
Strategy: Own, rather than compain about, how people treat you.
Life Law #9: There is power in forgiveness.
Strategy: Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you.
Life Law #10: You have to name it before you can claim it.
Strategy: Get clear about what you want and take your turn.
http://www.spiritual.com.au/articles/stories/10laws_drphil.htm
Dr. Phil McGraw's 10 Life Laws
Life Law #1: You either get it, or you don't.
Strategy: Become one of those who gets it.
Life Law #2: You create your own experience.
Strategy: Ackowledge and accept accountability for your life.
Life Law #3: People do what works.
Strategy: Identify the payoffs that drive your behavior and that of others.
Life Law #4: You cannot change what you do not acknowledge.
Strategy: Get real with yourself about life and everybody in it.
Life Law #5: Life rewards Action.
Strategy: Make careful decisions and then pull the trigger.
Life Law #6: There is no reality; only perception.
Strategy: Identify the filters through which you view the world.
Life Law #7: Life is managed; it is not cured.
Strategy: Learn to take charge of your life.
Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us.
Strategy: Own, rather than compain about, how people treat you.
Life Law #9: There is power in forgiveness.
Strategy: Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you.
Life Law #10: You have to name it before you can claim it.
Strategy: Get clear about what you want and take your turn.
Sunday, September 05, 2010
Ghosts: What Are They?
Ghosts: What Are They?
Do you believe in ghosts? The many thousands of reports from all over the world leave little doubt that haunting experiences are quite real. But what causes them and why?
You've seen them depicted in movies, read stories of their unnerving activities and have seen television shows and documentaries sensationalizing them. You have probably seen rare photos of them and have likely heard of first-hand ghostly encounters from friends and relatives. I receive dozens of reports from readers every month. Perhaps you have even seen a ghost yourself.
But what are ghosts? I'll give you the answer straight out: No one knows for certain.
There are, however, many theories to explain the thousands upon thousands of documented experiences that people around the world have had since the beginning of recorded history. Ghosts and hauntings seem to be a relatively common part of the human experience. And there appear to be several types of ghosts or hauntings, and more than one theory may be needed to explain them all.
Dead people
The traditional view of ghosts is that they are the spirits of dead people that for some reason are "stuck" between this plane of existence and the next, often as a result of some tragedy or trauma. Many ghost hunters and psychics believe that such earth-bound spirits don't know they are dead. Veteran ghost hunter Hans Holzer says, "A ghost is a human being who has passed out of the physical body, usually in a traumatic state and is not aware usually of his true condition. We are all spirits encased in a physical body. At the time of passing, our spirit body continues into the next dimension. A ghost, on the other hand, due to trauma, is stuck in our physical world and needs to be released to go on."
Ghosts exist in a kind of limbo in which they haunt the scenes of their deaths or locations that were pleasant to them in life. Very often, these types of ghosts are able to interact with the living. They are, on some level, aware of the living and react to being seen on the occasions that they materialize. Some psychics claim to be able to communicate with them. And when they do, they often try to help these spirits to understand that they are dead and to move on to the next stage of their existence.
Residual Hauntings or Recordings
Some ghosts appear to be mere recordings on the environment in which they once existed. A civil war soldier is seen on repeated occasions staring out a window at a house where he once stood guard. A dead child's laughter is heard echoing in a hallway where she often played. There are even cases of ghost cars and trains that can still be heard and sometimes seen, even though they are long gone. These types of ghosts do not interact with or seem to be aware of the living. Their appearance and actions are always the same. They are like spirit-level recordings - residual energies - that replay over and over again.
"A traumatic moment in time leaves an indelible impression on the building or area," says Strange Nation in "What Is a Ghost?," "replaying itself for eternity. This could be anything from a 'glimpse of the past' - a recreation of some traumatic or emotion-laden event - to footsteps up and down a hallway."
What causes these recordings to be made and how and why they are played back is a mystery. "How and why past events are recorded and replayed repetitiously is not understood," writes Lauren Forcella. "Whatever the actual mechanism, it apparently possesses longevity as the encore performances of a haunting can continue for decades or longer. Generally, the haunting is a fragment or portion of an actual event."
Messengers
These kinds of ghosts may be the most common. These spirits usually appear shortly after their deaths to people close to them. They are aware of their deaths and can interact with the living. They most often bring messages of comfort to their loved ones, to say that they are well and happy, and not to grieve for them. These ghosts appear briefly and usually only once. It is as if they intentionally return with their messages for the express purpose of helping the living cope with their loss.
"This category commonly involves one-time visits to someone with whom the apparition has close emotional ties," says Lauren Forcella at Paranormal Investigations, who calls these ghosts "crisis apparitions." "Though the encounter usually seems to be a type of farewell, sometimes important and useful information is relayed to the 'viewer.' Though dying is the most common crisis, other life-threatening situations can also trigger apparitional visits."
Poltergeists
This type of haunting is the most feared by people because it has the greatest ability to affect our physical world. Poltergeists are blamed for unexplained noises, such as wall-banging, rapping, footsteps and even music. They take our possessions and hide them, only to return them later. They turn on faucets, slam doors, turn lights on and off, and flush toilets. They throw things across rooms. They have been known to pull on people's clothing or hair. The malevolent ones even slap and scratch the living. It is because of these sometimes "mean-spirited" manifestations that poltergeists are considered by some investigators to be demonic in nature.
Other investigators, however, believe that poltergeist activity is not caused by ghosts at all, but by certain living people under stress. "During a poltergeist experience," writes Lauren Forcella, "the agent, in an attempt to relieve emotional stress, unknowingly causes the physical disturbances using mental forces. The mental mechanism that allows the poltergeist agent to unconsciously cause these physical disturbances is called psychokinesis."
Projections
The skeptics' point of view - if they are willing to admit there is anything to haunting experiences at all - is that they are all in our minds, or are products of our own minds. Ghosts, they say, are psychological phenomena: we see them because we expect to or want to see them. A grieving widow sees her dead husband because she needs to; she needs the comfort of knowing that he is alright and happy in the next world. Her mind produces the experience to help itself cope with the stress of the loss. Since we know so little about the power and capacity of our own minds, it's possible that they can even produce physical manifestations, such as apparitions and noises - projections that even others may be able to see and hear. But they are not "real" in any sense, say the skeptics, just the conjurings of powerful imaginations.
Are there such things as ghosts? The phenomena of ghosts and hauntings are very real experiences. It is their true cause and nature that is the ongoing mystery.
http://paranormal.about.com/library/weekly/aa082701a.htm
Do you believe in ghosts? The many thousands of reports from all over the world leave little doubt that haunting experiences are quite real. But what causes them and why?
You've seen them depicted in movies, read stories of their unnerving activities and have seen television shows and documentaries sensationalizing them. You have probably seen rare photos of them and have likely heard of first-hand ghostly encounters from friends and relatives. I receive dozens of reports from readers every month. Perhaps you have even seen a ghost yourself.
But what are ghosts? I'll give you the answer straight out: No one knows for certain.
There are, however, many theories to explain the thousands upon thousands of documented experiences that people around the world have had since the beginning of recorded history. Ghosts and hauntings seem to be a relatively common part of the human experience. And there appear to be several types of ghosts or hauntings, and more than one theory may be needed to explain them all.
Dead people
The traditional view of ghosts is that they are the spirits of dead people that for some reason are "stuck" between this plane of existence and the next, often as a result of some tragedy or trauma. Many ghost hunters and psychics believe that such earth-bound spirits don't know they are dead. Veteran ghost hunter Hans Holzer says, "A ghost is a human being who has passed out of the physical body, usually in a traumatic state and is not aware usually of his true condition. We are all spirits encased in a physical body. At the time of passing, our spirit body continues into the next dimension. A ghost, on the other hand, due to trauma, is stuck in our physical world and needs to be released to go on."
Ghosts exist in a kind of limbo in which they haunt the scenes of their deaths or locations that were pleasant to them in life. Very often, these types of ghosts are able to interact with the living. They are, on some level, aware of the living and react to being seen on the occasions that they materialize. Some psychics claim to be able to communicate with them. And when they do, they often try to help these spirits to understand that they are dead and to move on to the next stage of their existence.
Residual Hauntings or Recordings
Some ghosts appear to be mere recordings on the environment in which they once existed. A civil war soldier is seen on repeated occasions staring out a window at a house where he once stood guard. A dead child's laughter is heard echoing in a hallway where she often played. There are even cases of ghost cars and trains that can still be heard and sometimes seen, even though they are long gone. These types of ghosts do not interact with or seem to be aware of the living. Their appearance and actions are always the same. They are like spirit-level recordings - residual energies - that replay over and over again.
"A traumatic moment in time leaves an indelible impression on the building or area," says Strange Nation in "What Is a Ghost?," "replaying itself for eternity. This could be anything from a 'glimpse of the past' - a recreation of some traumatic or emotion-laden event - to footsteps up and down a hallway."
What causes these recordings to be made and how and why they are played back is a mystery. "How and why past events are recorded and replayed repetitiously is not understood," writes Lauren Forcella. "Whatever the actual mechanism, it apparently possesses longevity as the encore performances of a haunting can continue for decades or longer. Generally, the haunting is a fragment or portion of an actual event."
Messengers
These kinds of ghosts may be the most common. These spirits usually appear shortly after their deaths to people close to them. They are aware of their deaths and can interact with the living. They most often bring messages of comfort to their loved ones, to say that they are well and happy, and not to grieve for them. These ghosts appear briefly and usually only once. It is as if they intentionally return with their messages for the express purpose of helping the living cope with their loss.
"This category commonly involves one-time visits to someone with whom the apparition has close emotional ties," says Lauren Forcella at Paranormal Investigations, who calls these ghosts "crisis apparitions." "Though the encounter usually seems to be a type of farewell, sometimes important and useful information is relayed to the 'viewer.' Though dying is the most common crisis, other life-threatening situations can also trigger apparitional visits."
Poltergeists
This type of haunting is the most feared by people because it has the greatest ability to affect our physical world. Poltergeists are blamed for unexplained noises, such as wall-banging, rapping, footsteps and even music. They take our possessions and hide them, only to return them later. They turn on faucets, slam doors, turn lights on and off, and flush toilets. They throw things across rooms. They have been known to pull on people's clothing or hair. The malevolent ones even slap and scratch the living. It is because of these sometimes "mean-spirited" manifestations that poltergeists are considered by some investigators to be demonic in nature.
Other investigators, however, believe that poltergeist activity is not caused by ghosts at all, but by certain living people under stress. "During a poltergeist experience," writes Lauren Forcella, "the agent, in an attempt to relieve emotional stress, unknowingly causes the physical disturbances using mental forces. The mental mechanism that allows the poltergeist agent to unconsciously cause these physical disturbances is called psychokinesis."
Projections
The skeptics' point of view - if they are willing to admit there is anything to haunting experiences at all - is that they are all in our minds, or are products of our own minds. Ghosts, they say, are psychological phenomena: we see them because we expect to or want to see them. A grieving widow sees her dead husband because she needs to; she needs the comfort of knowing that he is alright and happy in the next world. Her mind produces the experience to help itself cope with the stress of the loss. Since we know so little about the power and capacity of our own minds, it's possible that they can even produce physical manifestations, such as apparitions and noises - projections that even others may be able to see and hear. But they are not "real" in any sense, say the skeptics, just the conjurings of powerful imaginations.
Are there such things as ghosts? The phenomena of ghosts and hauntings are very real experiences. It is their true cause and nature that is the ongoing mystery.
http://paranormal.about.com/library/weekly/aa082701a.htm
Friday, September 03, 2010
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