Adjusting to Life After a Breakup
Most of us have been there at some stage of our lives. Hours on the phone to our friends, crying, hoarding the mint chocolate chip ice cream, wandering about in our pyjamas; it’s what is commonly known as the mourning phase of breaking up - when your life doesn’t feel the same and you finally feel the loss of the other person. Whether you initiate the break up or he does, there is a mourning process to go through.
Once you go through mourning the loss of your relationship, you have to put your world back together. It’s not going to be easy but keep in mind this isn’t the first relationship to have ended and it likely won’t be the last. The fact is, life is going to go on with or without you participating in it. If you want to come back to the land of the living, you’ll have to do some adjusting and get over your break up.
Look Back and Laugh
Let’s not look back at the relationship that just ended but rather the one or two before. You weathered those storms and moved on to have more fun and fulfilling relationships, right? The same will happen here. Think about what you did when the last relationship ended. Moving on wasn’t easy then either; you can probably look at some of the things you did to move on and laugh about them. Do the same here. Think about how you must have looked when the delivery guy showed up to drop off that package you’d been waiting for; kind of scary in your kitty pyjamas and bear foot slippers weren’t you? Go ahead and laugh. It is rather funny.
Plan a Girls’ Night
Call your best gal pals up and announce your freedom or rather your entrance back into the dating game. Get out your sexy underwear, thigh high stockings and think about the evening ahead. Practice your ‘come and get me’ smile for all the single guys you’ll undoubtedly have your eye on tonight and run through your sexy, flirty giggles.
Think of the evening as a celebration – free from the constraints of being in a relationship. Celebrate all there is to being a single and available woman and invite your friends to join in. Tell your gal pals it’s girls only; you’re out to celebrate being a female - the most intriguing and sexy creature on the planet - and guys aren’t allowed tonight.
Get Out of the House
When was the last time you took a holiday on your own? Probably years or maybe never. You can’t count any work related trips so don’t even try it! A change of scenery might be what you need in order to get back into single life again. If you don’t have some place already in mind, start hunting down some of the current travel deals. Talk to friends and family and see what trips they’ve been on recently.
The object here is to kiss your place goodbye for a few days. Whether it’s a sunny vacation on a beach or a cabin nestled high among the snow capped mountains, change your scenery and change your outlook. Give yourself a chance to rest and rejuvenate. A break up is hard; it can take a lot out of the body and the mind so taking yourself somewhere new to recoup will help heal the whole you.
Dote on Yourself
A new haircut, pedicure, manicure, some new shoes to wear during your girls’ night out - all of these things can make you feel like a brand new woman and not the one roaming around the house in her slippers and pyjamas. Make yourself feel good by looking good. The beautiful you will begin to radiate from the inside out and fill the room.
Find a way to make yourself feel special; no matter what it is, do it. If you’ve been thinking about heading back to the gym (maybe you got comfortable in your past relationship and those jeans are a little tight today), buying a new book, taking a class – make sure that what you do is for you and not someone else.
The Healing Power of Sex
OK, so it might not be for everyone but many women swear that sex with someone new heals them and allows them to put their ex out of sight, out of body, and out of their minds once and for all. If you choose this route, don’t expect anything more than a hot, passionate night of sex. No strings attached and unless you’re willing to open yourself back up, no phone numbers either.
Others will argue that one night stands (we’re only talking about one… not one of many) only fill an empty void. That’s possible but what better way to feel sexy, desirable and hot than to let another man want you.
During the time it takes you to adjust back to single life, you’re going to discover that you’ve grown and perhaps changed a little along the way; this is the natural progression of life. We have ups and downs, heartache and sadness but once we get past it, we learn there is an exciting life waiting for us on the other side. We only have to travel a little to get there.
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