50 Peaceful Things

50 Peaceful Things
by Lori Deschene

“Peace is not something you wish for. It’s something you make, something you do, something you are, and something you give away.” ~Robert Fulghum

Recently I’ve been spending a lot of time visiting 1000 Awesome Things, a blog devoted to the many simple pleasures in life. Some of them remind me of being a kid, like this one about celebrities on Sesame Street. Others remind of me I’m stronger than I think, like this one about getting through difficult situations.

With that in mind, you can imagine how excited I am to receive a copy of Neil’s upcoming book, aptly named The Book of Awesome. I’m even more excited that I’ll be able to give away two autographed copies when I write my review. (Coming soon!)

In the meantime, as a way to pay tribute to this awesome book and my awesome new friend, I’ve decided to create my own awesome list, tinybuddha style.

Here are 50 peaceful things to help you be mindful and happy throughout the day:
1. Laying in bed for a few minutes in the morning before hopping into your day. There’s no reason to rush.

2. Eating breakfast slowly, at a table, instead of grabbing something on the go.

3. Listening to your favorite music on the way to work, and remembering when you first heard it. Where you were, who you were with, how you felt.

4. Hugging someone you know long enough to make it meaningful.

5. Appreciating something you take for granted, like your feet for taking you where you need to go.

6. Focusing solely on the smell of your coffee as it brews.

7. Noticing something thoughtful a stranger does for someone else. (There are a lot of beautiful people out there).

8. Watching a coworker get proud about doing something well and feeling happy for them. Nothing’s more calming than focusing on someone else and forgetting yourself for a while.

9. Getting into the zone typing, like finger-moving meditation, maybe set the rhythm of a great tune on your iPod.

10. Doing only one thing, even though you have a lot to do, to fully enjoy what you’re doing.

11. Knowing you did a good job and taking a few minutes to bask in self satisfaction. You’re pretty awesome.

12. Expressing how you feel and then letting it be without feeling pressure to explain (pressure we usually put on ourselves).

13. Taking a break without anything to do besides breathing and noticing little details in your environment. How soft the rug is after having been cleaned. How sunlight from your window leaves shadows on your desk.

14. Holding someone’s hand in both of yours when you thank them.

15. Listening to someone talk–really hearing them–without thinking about what you’ll say next.


16. Remembering a time when you felt peaceful, and going back there in your head.

17. Writing a thoughtful, hand-written note to someone, even if you could email, because you feel more connected when you write it out.

18. Channeling your inner Kevin Rose and savoring a cup of loose leaf tea.

19. Forgiving someone, not just in words, but by feeling compassion for them.

20. Writing down thoughts that keep racing through your head, crumpling up the paper, and throwing it away. Being done with them.

21. Letting yourself have lunch without any thoughts of work.

22. Doing something slowly and finding it more fun than you realized when you rushed through it.

23. Holding a smooth rock in your palm and feeling stable and grounded.

24. Believing someone else when they say everything will be OK.

25. Feeling whatever you feel without judging it, knowing it will pass. It always does.

26. Making a short video of your child or niece, and watching it in the middle of the day when the world seems to be moving too fast.

27. Watching something in nature and letting yourself be intrigued. Feeling wonder at something simple that man hasn’t touched or changed.

28. Finding something beautiful in chaos, like the love between your loud family members at the dinner table, or one raindrop dripping down your window as you navigate a traffic-congested road.

29. Thinking something and realizing you can change your thoughts whenever you want. You don’t have to dwell in a painful memory–you can make a better one right now.

30. Telling someone you love them, not because you want to hear it back, but because you feel it too deeply not to express it. Because expressing it makes you happy.

31. Realizing there’s nothing to worry about. You can be happy right now–you have everything you need to smile.

32. Doing something creative and childlike, like making someone a card or coloring. Even as an adult, it feels good to pick all the right colors and stay mostly in the lines. Or go out of the lines and embrace it. It’s your picture!

33. Giving someone you love the benefit of the doubt to put your mind at ease and maintain a peaceful relationship.

34. Rolling down the window when you drive and feeling the pressure of the cool air on your face.

35. Calling one of your parents in the middle of the day to thank them for everything they’ve done–everything they’ve given you that one crazy afternoon can’t diminish or take away.

36. Taking a walk with no destination in mind, just to see what’s out there to be seen.

37. Letting go of something you’ve been holding onto that does nothing but stress you out.

38. Telling someone why knowing them makes you lucky.

39. Letting someone have their opinion; knowing you can honor it without changing or compromising yours.

40. Setting out on a joy mission–looking for something to do solely to experience fully present, open-to-possibilities bliss.

41. Defining peaceful for yourself. If peace is yelling, “I’m the king of the world!” while jogging around a track, do it with abandon.

42. Listening to a song that gives you goosebumps and creating a mental montage of moments that made you happy.

43. Turning off all your electronics to read without distractions.

44. Doing something by candlelight and remembering a simpler time.

45. Closing your eyes and dancing to a song you can feel pulsating in your veins.

46. Turning off your cell phone, no matter who might call or text, because there’s something you’d like to do with all your heart and attention.

47. Sitting in a sauna, and letting the heat melt all your stresses away.

48. Finally making time for something you want to do but always say you don’t have time for.

49. Making eye contact with a stranger and feeling connected to a world larger than your own.

50. Letting yourself lay in bed at night without making a mental inventory of things that went wrong today or could go wrong tomorrow.

And one last peaceful thing: being grateful for new friends with awesome ideas, and letting them inspire you.

Watering the Seed of a Relationship
Written by Therese Benedict - Authour of Days Go By, Not Love

Communication is a seed that will make a relationship be of bonding, love and respect.

If you do not learn together on how to communicate, you will not be watering that seed. If you do not water, the relationship will wither and/or die. It will only cause resentment, anger, misunderstanding, hurt and sooner or later misery and possibly an end.

When you learn to listen to your loved one, and hear the hurt that was caused and understand that pain can be given when not knowing it was given; you begin to understand how both of you can help build the relationship instead of destroying. This means taking the time to begin hearing, listening and comforting the person that is speaking. It takes understanding, love and the want to help them understand that those intentions were not meant in the way that they were taken. With communication being a strong part of your relationship, it can bring you a bond of love attached with respect. To take the relationship to a point that you will do anything not to hurt the person you love because of the efforts that they put into trying to help the relationship grow.

Know that it will take time to grow and develop open communication in your relationship and understand that as long as you keep working sooner or later it will get better, if both participate. You will recognize and see the benefits of communicating when both parties invest the effort. Some of those benefits will include comfort; you will feel better and will not have to sit in pain or anger. You will learn to express with love and not with loud tones back and forth trying to prove each other wrong.

What people need to understand in a disagreement or a conversation of pain is that both parties can be wrong and both parties can learn from each other. Another benefit is that you build respect for each other's feelings and learn to focus on your actions, so you may protect the person you love from hurt. By communicating you take away resentment, grudges and anger that you can hold inside because you are releasing the emotions that are causing you anguish.

Communication brings you closer and you start to learn more about each other's feelings. You begin to learn about their past and why certain areas of life affect them emotionally. You begin to go deeper inside of each other with situations that you are still trying to heal from and with open honest communication you can help them heal. You learn to trust each other and open up more, so you may speak up knowing that there will be no consequences to expressing your words. Communication is a wonderful way to bond, grow and enjoy the love that is being shared between two people.

http://www.familyhealthguide.co.uk/watering-the-seed-of-a-relationship.html

Do not think of what you do not have;

Do not think of what you do not have;
Instead, appreciate what you have and can still have.

Do not think of things lost;
Instead, value what you still have and may yet find.

Do not cry over spilled milk;
Instead, rejoice in what was left.

Do not think of what you are not;
Instead, be humble with what you are and can still become.

Do not think of what others say you are;
Instead, concern yourself with what you affirm to be.

Do not think of the hours and days past;
Instead, look eagerly to times that are yet to come.

Do not think of what you failed to do;
Instead, think of those that you were able to do and can still best do.

Do not think of mistakes committed;
Instead, count the things you did right.

Do not think much of the pain you have caused;
Instead, plan for ways to make amends.

Do not think of the sufferings you now bear;
Instead, look to the comfort when relief draws near.

Do not consume yourself with thoughts of what could have been;
Instead, marvel at what has become and will become.

Do not be anxious to attain greater happiness;
Instead, content yourself with the little things which bring you bliss.

Do not aspire to fill your cup at once;
Instead, have the patience to do it little by little.

And if by chance you fail, do not fret over the empty part on top;
Instead, celebrate the space filled up.

Do not condemn nature when it is at its worst;
Instead, think of the times when it was at its best.

Do not blame luck for things you miss;
Instead, learn from things in which you have been remiss.

Nor should you curse luck or others for life's misfortunes;
Instead, accept them as part of life

Trouble ahead?

Adjusting to Life After a Breakup

Adjusting to Life After a Breakup
Most of us have been there at some stage of our lives. Hours on the phone to our friends, crying, hoarding the mint chocolate chip ice cream, wandering about in our pyjamas; it’s what is commonly known as the mourning phase of breaking up - when your life doesn’t feel the same and you finally feel the loss of the other person. Whether you initiate the break up or he does, there is a mourning process to go through.

Once you go through mourning the loss of your relationship, you have to put your world back together. It’s not going to be easy but keep in mind this isn’t the first relationship to have ended and it likely won’t be the last. The fact is, life is going to go on with or without you participating in it. If you want to come back to the land of the living, you’ll have to do some adjusting and get over your break up.

Look Back and Laugh

Let’s not look back at the relationship that just ended but rather the one or two before. You weathered those storms and moved on to have more fun and fulfilling relationships, right? The same will happen here. Think about what you did when the last relationship ended. Moving on wasn’t easy then either; you can probably look at some of the things you did to move on and laugh about them. Do the same here. Think about how you must have looked when the delivery guy showed up to drop off that package you’d been waiting for; kind of scary in your kitty pyjamas and bear foot slippers weren’t you? Go ahead and laugh. It is rather funny.

Plan a Girls’ Night

Call your best gal pals up and announce your freedom or rather your entrance back into the dating game. Get out your sexy underwear, thigh high stockings and think about the evening ahead. Practice your ‘come and get me’ smile for all the single guys you’ll undoubtedly have your eye on tonight and run through your sexy, flirty giggles.

Think of the evening as a celebration – free from the constraints of being in a relationship. Celebrate all there is to being a single and available woman and invite your friends to join in. Tell your gal pals it’s girls only; you’re out to celebrate being a female - the most intriguing and sexy creature on the planet - and guys aren’t allowed tonight.

Get Out of the House

When was the last time you took a holiday on your own? Probably years or maybe never. You can’t count any work related trips so don’t even try it! A change of scenery might be what you need in order to get back into single life again. If you don’t have some place already in mind, start hunting down some of the current travel deals. Talk to friends and family and see what trips they’ve been on recently.

The object here is to kiss your place goodbye for a few days. Whether it’s a sunny vacation on a beach or a cabin nestled high among the snow capped mountains, change your scenery and change your outlook. Give yourself a chance to rest and rejuvenate. A break up is hard; it can take a lot out of the body and the mind so taking yourself somewhere new to recoup will help heal the whole you.

Dote on Yourself

A new haircut, pedicure, manicure, some new shoes to wear during your girls’ night out - all of these things can make you feel like a brand new woman and not the one roaming around the house in her slippers and pyjamas. Make yourself feel good by looking good. The beautiful you will begin to radiate from the inside out and fill the room.

Find a way to make yourself feel special; no matter what it is, do it. If you’ve been thinking about heading back to the gym (maybe you got comfortable in your past relationship and those jeans are a little tight today), buying a new book, taking a class – make sure that what you do is for you and not someone else.

The Healing Power of Sex

OK, so it might not be for everyone but many women swear that sex with someone new heals them and allows them to put their ex out of sight, out of body, and out of their minds once and for all. If you choose this route, don’t expect anything more than a hot, passionate night of sex. No strings attached and unless you’re willing to open yourself back up, no phone numbers either.

Others will argue that one night stands (we’re only talking about one… not one of many) only fill an empty void. That’s possible but what better way to feel sexy, desirable and hot than to let another man want you.

During the time it takes you to adjust back to single life, you’re going to discover that you’ve grown and perhaps changed a little along the way; this is the natural progression of life. We have ups and downs, heartache and sadness but once we get past it, we learn there is an exciting life waiting for us on the other side. We only have to travel a little to get there.

Five Pathways to Listening to Your Inner Voice

*Based on the work of Richard Carson in Taming Your Gremlin.

Five Pathways
1. Check in with your heart. Social conditioning teaches us to be logical and "use our heads". When you only use your head, your experience of yourself and the world is limited. You miss out on the vital information the rest of your body, heart and soul is giving you.

Benefits: The same neurological tissue found in the brain is found in the heart. The heart is a second "brain" and our emotional center. Listening to your head and your heart is crucial to good decision-making about your life, your business and your relationships.

New Focus: Put your hand over your heart and focus there - what is it telling you?

2.Connect with your body. Your body gives you a tremendous amount of useful information that you may not be conscious of. For example, when your mother-in-law visits, does your stomach tie up in knots? When your boss yells at you, do your shoulders turn into stone? When you feel passionate and alive, does your chest feel warm and open? When we ignore the body's message, we lose out on valuable information designed to let us what works for us and what doesn't.

Benefits: For many people, fear manifests as a tightness in their chest. This is valuable information, especially if you aren't aware that you are afraid. Your body alerts you to what makes feels passionate and what doesn't. The body is a fount of wisdom designed to tell you when you're on the right path and when you aren't.

New Focus: Notice the messages your body is giving you right now. Try a self-massage to find areas in your back, neck or shoulders that are tense or knotted. What other areas of your body feel tight? Which ones feel relaxed and loose? Use this information as another key to listening to your inner wisdom.

3.Listen to your intuition. Intuition is simply knowing something without knowing exactly how you know it. Connect back to a time that you had a "gut feeling" about something - the job that you knew you shouldn't take, even though it looked good on the surface or the relationship that just felt right for you. That's your intuition talking to you.

Benefits: Gut feelings are a wealth of information. Remember, your intuition is never wrong, although your interpretation of it may be incorrect. When your intuition calls to you, trust it. Practice makes perfect when it comes to using your intuition effectively.

New Focus: The next time you need to make a decision, check in with your intuition. Experiment with trusting it. When you follow your intuition, what happens? When you hear it and disregard it, what's the outcome?

4. Notice your self-saboteur*. Each of us has our very own special saboteur. The saboteur is the voice in your head that says, "You are not good enough." "Who do you think you are?" "If you take this new job, everyone will find out what a fraud you are." The saboteur's job is to "protect" you from taking risks and making changes.

Benefits: Learn to distinguish between your voice and the saboteur's mumbo-jumbo. Notice how the inner critic drives the choices and decisions you make.

New Focus: Simply notice the negative voices playing in your head. Notice the times when they crop up. Recognize that the voices aren't you and they aren't true. Learning to separate your own voice from that of the saboteur is a powerful and life changing tool.

5. Identify limiting beliefs. We each carry a set of beliefs that we live by. Certain beliefs you hold consciously, while others are mainly unconscious. Beliefs develop out of past experiences and our interpretations of those experiences. Some of the conscious and unconscious beliefs that you develop limit your ability to grow and move forward in your life. For example: One of your goals as a successful entrepreneur is to make a lot of money. You discover that you have a belief - a limiting one - that it's wrong to make a lot of money. Until you begin to alter your beliefs about money, it will be more difficult for you to achieve that financial success you desire.

Benefits: Learning to notice a limiting belief allows you to become conscious of it, and then change it. Releasing a belief that limits you puts you back in the driver's seat of your life. You, rather than an old belief, make the choices that are right for you and allow you to fulfill your potential

Ways to spot a limiting belief:
-You tell yourself that you only have one or two choices in a situation, or "no choice" at all.
-Your inner critic expresses his or her opinion. The inner critic's opinion is generally based in a limiting belief.
-A decision may appear to be black and white to you, or an either/or situation.
-You have decided that "this is the way the world is."
-You make a decision based on fear.
-You feel constricted and notice that you lack clarity about a specific situation

Source : http://www.metavoice.org/articles/article1/